At precisely 3:07 a.m. last night, 4,200 households in the Hollow Oak area reported identical symptoms: a thundering of paws, a knocked over plant and a yowl of pure joy. Scientists call it ‘the zoomies.’ We call it the biggest unsolved mystery of the decade.
Our investigation found that the zoomies cannot be predicted, prevented or discussed in daylight. The cat in question merely stated, ‘I felt a feeling,’ and went to bed. Tonight, we deploy 6 cameras and a sofa blockade. Will we find the answer? We will not. But we will be there, wide awake, wearing our slippers.
Leave a Reply