Live from the Windowsill: The Squirrel Standoff

We interrupt your evening for a Windowsill Alert! At 7:03 p.m., a squirrel took up a position on the oak outside the Finch family’s front window, and the resident cat, a gentleman named Barnaby, has not blinked in 22 minutes.

This is a standoff, ladies and gentlemen. Barnaby’s tail is twitching at 140 beats per minute. The squirrel is eating something small, with obvious contempt. Negotiators are standing by with a feather wand. We have no clue how this will end. We only know that the glass is thin, the stakes are enormous and the squirrel has not done the right thing.