Good morning, Hollow Oak! A scandal has rocked the Pembrook household, where the brown leather sofa was found overnight with three new slashes in the left arm. Officers describe the scene as ‘highly artistic.’
The family cat, a Ms. Truffle, is a person of interest. She was found at the scene, calmly grooming, in what experts call ‘the innocent lick.’ A spokesperson for the sofa said only that it feels ‘violated but also, if I’m honest, a bit lighter.’ We will bring you updates as the shredding develops, and the next story is about a bird.
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