Traffic Alert: Cat Flap Gridlock on Elm Street

Our eye in the sky, Helicopter Cat Phyllis, reports a major jam at the Elm Street cat flap this afternoon. A tabby is stuck halfway through with a very large look of regret, and a queue of 17 cats has formed on either side.

‘Push,’ says the cat in the garden. ‘Pull,’ says the cat in the kitchen. Authorities have deployed a spatula. The delay is expected to last between 15 minutes and the heat death of the universe. Commuters are advised to take the window route on Maple, where there is an open sill and a mild breeze.