It is October, and the paranormal is upon us! Our Halloween Task Force reports a 300 percent increase in spooky stares, a 42 percent rise in hissing at nothing and one confirmed sighting of a ghost, which turned out to be a bag.
Residents are advised to leave the porch light on, hide the candy and stay vigilant. Local pumpkin farmer Eustace Gourd warns of ‘a bumper crop of orange.’ We will be covering every ghost, bat and mysterious rattling noise from the attic, which our sources say is a mouse named Gerald.
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